Team Edward or Team Jacob, Kagan?

By Zachary  'Buddha' Bernstein

Generally, Supreme Court confirmation hearings are not  greatly intriguing. There are not great bombshells to be had, nor do many candidates go into great detail on, well,much of anything.

The process has basically become an exercise in playing not to lose. But easily the most surreal moment of the whole thing came on Wednesday, when nominee Elena Kagan was asked the question that is perhaps one of the most intensely debated in America, and at the same time, the most easily irrelevant to the nomination process:

Team Edward or Team Jacob?

Yes, you read that right. A Senator – specifically, Amy Klobuchar, Democrat from Minnesota – a member of the most important legislative body in the country, with power to confirm Supreme Court justices [among other things] is asking about Twilight, the movie.

Putting aside the fact that, as a college-age male, I would sooner gouge out my eyeballs and run them through a meat grinder than spoil those reading or watching Twilight. I have this to say…are you effing kidding me? You are aware we have rather serious business that needs attending to, are not you?This is not a reality show spot at stake. It is the Supreme Court.

All the biggest issues in the country –  from health care and immigration to gay marriage – will likely find a stop here, or at least have a good chance of appearing in some form.

And we are asking about, as the Senator put it, “the famous case of Edward versus Jacob or the vampire versus the werewolf.”

To be fair to Ms. Kagan, she sidestepped this question – as she has many others during the hearings – with the simple “I wish you wouldn’t [ask].”

 And for the record, this changes nothing about the actual voting – she will probably be confirmed and be wearing the robes in short order.

But come on. Can we please try to keep our focus on the issue at hand?

Besides, obviously, Team Edward.

U-S-A! Anything is possible: USA vs England World Cup!

" If you  put your ears close enough to the grass, you can hear the grass growing."~Leon, the Professional.

By Zachary 'Buddha' Bernstein



On paper, the match up is incredibly one-sided. England – a country which lives, breathes, eats and sleeps futbol (that is soccer for the uninitiated),has some of the greatest teams of all time within its borders. England versus the United States – where we also live, breathe, eat and sleep futbol(but not the kind that the world’s looking at South Africa for), plays today! To call it an afterthought in the US is assuming people actually think about it.



Yet do not count out the red, white and blue just yet. For one, England is without arguably their best player – David Beckham, who was long ago ruled out for the tournament and has since been brought on as some sort of spy for the English team. I kid you not, folks – he was watching the US’s last tuneup against Australia.


For another, the US has dominated before. In the 1950 World Cup, the US team shocked England 1-0 in what is now called the “Miracle on Grass.” Of course, this is to say nothing of the fact that both teams would fail to qualify past the group stage, or that the US did not play in another World Cup for 40 years, or that,  it has been 60 years since the Miracle.



But why not? After all, the US has made its mark on the world of futbol, or at least started to. In 2002, the US team made it all the way to the quarterfinals, where they would lose to eventual finalist Germany. And while they were embarrassed by earning only one point in 2006, a repeat of that seems unlikely in a group that also includes Slovenia and Algeria.


Are the two teams evenly matched?

No. England still holds plenty of advantages over a US team that has been questioned as maybe a little raw or nervous. But so was South Africa compared to Mexico. Not only did they manage a draw, they scored first.


Do not expect a US championship. Probably do not expect a semifinal landing. If they manage a repeat of 2002, I  will be pretty gosh-darn astounded. Let us be honest – Brazil these guys ain’t. But if the one game that I have seen played (as of this writing) can tell us anything, it is that here, the question is not whether, but why not?

Taste of paradise: Behold the Buddha Box

By Zachary 'Buddha' Bernstein


We all  have iPods nowadays, it seems. It is all about convenience. It is cool to  be able to cart around  thousands of songs on something that is thinner than a pencil.


Well, what I am talking about here is not even close to that. It is certainly not thinner than a pencil; in fact, it is barely thinner than a pencil holder.

It comes pre-loaded with nine songs. Forget about Lady GaGa or Coldplay among them, forget about syncing with your computer and  above all, adding more songs. Yes,there is an application for these tasks but it is not quite the same as the real thing.

It is called the Buddha Machine (see why I’m a fan?). It is made of plastic and comes in a bunch of different colors. It is one of the coolest things ever!

The machine is very simple. Pop in a couple of AA batteries and turn it on. From there, ambient music begins to filter through the box’s one (admittedly not high-quality) speaker. (It also has a headphone jack if needed) .

Do not expect any lyrics, though. It is just music. In fact, it is the same music repeated over and over again.



The group that made this invention is a Chinese band called FM3. They actually have some music on iTunes. FM3 wrote nine pieces of music, ranging from two to 42 seconds in length.

Turn on the Buddha Machine and the first piece comes on and plays over and over, until you press the small button on the side. This button allows  the second piece to start and play repeatedly until you press the button again.

You may be asking: And I care about this, why? I have an iPod for that, and it does not play the same music over and over.

Well, your iPod is great for walking around or killing time waiting for the subway, but the Buddha Machine serves a totally different purpose.

It is all about the atmosphere, for when you just need to lay back and unwind,with a little soothing background music.

Never underestimate the power of a few minutes of Buddha Machine-sponsored goodness. It can be the difference between a massive pre-exam freak-out and a very chill quasi-mediation session.



The box itself costs $23. You can find a list of sites that sell it on FM3’s website, http://www.fm3buddhamachine.com/.

If you prefer instant gratification and not spending that much, the group has a Buddha Machine app on iTunes that costs only  $1.99!

 It has the same nine songs, in somewhat better quality and  you can see colors that change on demand! While both versions are worthy investments, I like having the Buddha machine actually fill the room with sound( you can do this with a speaker dock for your iPod as well).


Life is stressful. Sometimes, convenience is not what you need. For when things get too overwhelming or you need life to slow down for a while, there’s the Buddha Machine! Take it from a would-be monk: this stuff really works.

Having our say: Tea Party complaints vs. Real complaints.

By Zachary "Buddha" Bernstein


You know what I hate most about the Tea Party?  How they claim that they are suffering under taxation without representation.  Are you, now?  No, my hyper-caffeinated friends – you are suffering under taxation without the representation you want.  Depending where you are from, you may be in the majority on that opinion, but hey, at least you have someone to vote out of office and yell at for voting the wrong way on the health care bill.
      I, on the other hand, am a lifetime resident of Washington, DC.  You want taxation without representation?  Well, when you stop in here for your tax day protests, check our license plates.  “Taxation without Representation,” right there at the bottom. We actually do have this dilemma.  We pay federal taxes, just like you.  We bitch about it, just like you.  We, however, do not have a vote in Congress – unlike you.
      Of course, if the Washington Post is to be believed – and are they, that liberal rag? – That may not be the case for long.  One day before the tax day protests, they reported that congressional leaders plan to reintroduce a bill that would give Washington, DC a vote in Congress for the first time in centuries.
      Before you start whooping and hollering about democracy for all, there is the caveat from hell: The bill will likely, according to the Post, include language stripping the city government of most restrictions on gun-related issues.  Concealed carry?  Check.  Assault rifles?  Check.  Local control?  No check.
      And while our non-voting delegate, Eleanor Holmes Norton, is trying to water that language down as much as possible, she is quoted as saying this “is the best chance we’ve had to get a House vote for D.C. in my lifetime.”  So expect some of that language to stay in the finished product.  If we want a vote, we will probably need to take all the gun restrictions too.
      What really sucks about that part of the bill is that it was inserted by people from other states who were more concerned about forcing their views on a government they have no relation with, against the wishes of the people who actually live here.  To all the people who live somewhere other than Washington – how would you feel if we used our vote to force you all to convert to Scientology?  Pretty peeved, right?  Trust me when I say I know how you feel.
      And to be sure, the battle does not end here.  If the bill somehow passes Congress, it will be reviewed by the Supreme Court. 
 I know they are supposed to be the fair and final arbiter on Constitutional matters, but I trust these nine with nothing right now.  It could easily be rejected, even though it easily passes muster.
      But at least we are taking a step in the right direction.  We are going to step on a few thorns in doing so, but as an American living in the last American colony, I think it is  probably worth it.
      Suck on that, Tea Partiers.

Porn: Nothing wrong with that!

By Zachary 'Buddha' Bernstein

Apparently bankers DO have all the fun.  There has been a bit of controversy brewing over a certain bank worker looking at porn at work.  While someone else was getting interviewed on TV RIGHT BEHIND HIM.

  

            The fact that someone is looking at porn at work does not bother me.  I suspect most people do.  If people could get away with it, we would all be looking at porn during class.  And the fact that he was caught doing it on TV – near the end, he actually seems to realize people CAN SEE HIS COMPUTER – does not bother me either.  It is a boring looking job, so obviously people are going to try and have some fun.  And it is a complicated-looking office, so he might not have been able to see the cameras set up and, you know, hear the guy speaking to apparently no one in particular.  Mistakes happen.

            Now, if you told me this particular investment bank got billions in bailout money and the guy caught surfing porn netted a $5 million bonus…then I would urge everyone to invest heavily in Pitchforks Inc.  Thankfully, it appears not to have happened that way.  And yet, one must wonder if that is how the financial collapse got started…

            “Wilkins, do you have that report on subprime mortgages I asked for?  If we don’t get people aware of the dangers, we could have a big crisis on our hands.”

            “Uhh…I’ve kind of got something bigger to deal with right now.”

            (link courtesy of AfroJacks)

Welcome our new video blogger: Zach' Buddha' Bernstein

Welcome our newest Fromgirltogirl staff, Zach 'Buddha' Bernstein! He is comical. Check out his first video post! And do
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