Having our say: Tea Party complaints vs. Real complaints.

By Zachary "Buddha" Bernstein


You know what I hate most about the Tea Party?  How they claim that they are suffering under taxation without representation.  Are you, now?  No, my hyper-caffeinated friends – you are suffering under taxation without the representation you want.  Depending where you are from, you may be in the majority on that opinion, but hey, at least you have someone to vote out of office and yell at for voting the wrong way on the health care bill.
      I, on the other hand, am a lifetime resident of Washington, DC.  You want taxation without representation?  Well, when you stop in here for your tax day protests, check our license plates.  “Taxation without Representation,” right there at the bottom. We actually do have this dilemma.  We pay federal taxes, just like you.  We bitch about it, just like you.  We, however, do not have a vote in Congress – unlike you.
      Of course, if the Washington Post is to be believed – and are they, that liberal rag? – That may not be the case for long.  One day before the tax day protests, they reported that congressional leaders plan to reintroduce a bill that would give Washington, DC a vote in Congress for the first time in centuries.
      Before you start whooping and hollering about democracy for all, there is the caveat from hell: The bill will likely, according to the Post, include language stripping the city government of most restrictions on gun-related issues.  Concealed carry?  Check.  Assault rifles?  Check.  Local control?  No check.
      And while our non-voting delegate, Eleanor Holmes Norton, is trying to water that language down as much as possible, she is quoted as saying this “is the best chance we’ve had to get a House vote for D.C. in my lifetime.”  So expect some of that language to stay in the finished product.  If we want a vote, we will probably need to take all the gun restrictions too.
      What really sucks about that part of the bill is that it was inserted by people from other states who were more concerned about forcing their views on a government they have no relation with, against the wishes of the people who actually live here.  To all the people who live somewhere other than Washington – how would you feel if we used our vote to force you all to convert to Scientology?  Pretty peeved, right?  Trust me when I say I know how you feel.
      And to be sure, the battle does not end here.  If the bill somehow passes Congress, it will be reviewed by the Supreme Court. 
 I know they are supposed to be the fair and final arbiter on Constitutional matters, but I trust these nine with nothing right now.  It could easily be rejected, even though it easily passes muster.
      But at least we are taking a step in the right direction.  We are going to step on a few thorns in doing so, but as an American living in the last American colony, I think it is  probably worth it.
      Suck on that, Tea Partiers.

Can The Fairer Sex Get A Fair Break?

By Zachary 'Buddha' Bernstein

We live in a very polarized society.  It seems every issue, from health care reform,abortion, to what to have for dessert (CAKE, NOT PIE!!!), elicits so many diverse and heated opinions.It is tempting to try and shut it all out. Take it from a political science major who is also taking a biology class: Debate may keep a democracy healthy, but you can still die from taking too many vitamins. Yay for multiple subject learning!

      Still there is one debate that, in the long term, is crucial to achieve.  It is one that started at the outset of the last election and did not let up:  Can a woman become President? 
      There are some demographics that are considered poisonous in national political contests.  Mormonism, for example, is looked upon by many Americans with a skeptical eye(ask Mitt Romney).  Up until recently, there were no serious African-American contenders – and no, Al Sharpton does not count.  One could argue that there have not  been many serious female contenders either.  My memory of politics does not go way back, but I can think of two at the moment.
      Remember when it was predicted the 2008 race would come down to a political subway series?  Hillary Clinton and Rudy Giuliani, that was what the pundits said.  Believe it or not, not many people were thinking about that Obama guy.  Then he won Iowa, and the momentum swing pulled him through. Some women despaired – when would it be their time to break the ultimate glass ceiling?
      Then, out of nowhere, John McCain picked a little-known Alaska governor named Sarah Palin to be his running mate.  Most observers assumed this was an attempt to capture disaffected Clinton voters, and indeed, they ran many advertisements(supposedly featuring Clinton supporters switching to McCain’s campaign rather than Obama’s).
      The plan backfired.  McCain and Palin lost, and the White House’s top two spots are occupied again by men. Hillary Clinton, however, got the post of Secretary of State, one which she has generally excelled in so far. They lost, many will argue, because not only did most Clinton supporters stay on the Democratic side, but many who might have jumped ship were turned off by Palin’s general lack of knowledge on economic and political matters.
      Which leads me to my major point: Sarah Palin, still considered a potential candidate for the GOP nomination in 2012, has single-handedly set back the movement for a female president by…well, I am going to guesstimate a generation.
      I would personally love to see a woman become president.  The general stereotype is that men can whip you in a wrestling match, but women can school you in debates.  Whether that stereotype is true, I can not say – I have a fear of both pain and debate clubs. I assume it is true.  Would electing a woman mean we would not feel the need to invade everybody?  Would it mean we would actually be able to rationally examine issues and maybe come up with sensible solutions?  We can dream, can we not?
      That is what irritates me about Palin.  It is not that we are polar opposites when it comes to every issue out there.  It is that she is a pretty face in an arena that requires so much more.  Let us be honest: many Palin supporters only support her because they fantasize about being stranded with her and a busted snowmobile.  I know, it is horrible – it is also probably true.
      Thank God she is not going to win the highest office anytime soon. Polls consistently have majorities giving her unfavorable ratings.  Outside of the Tea Party movement, her approval ratings drop faster than a wolf she sniped from a helicopter. Sorry, I couldn’t resist. I pray she runs in 2012 for that reason – even if the economy is still down, Obama will walk all over her.
      But I feel so bad that we will not see a woman president anytime soon.  Us dudes have had our chance, and I will grant that we have not always done great.  And I would like to see how having a change in gender works. Now, thanks to a former beauty pageant contestant turned politician, it is  going to take that much longer.