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Saturday, October 16, 2010

Advice from A REAL dude: Lovers & Friends make healthy relationships.

By Briana Booker

 Here at Fromgirltogirl, we like to keep real. We are not going to be like your Cosmo magazine telling you a guy told us this advice to make you better at dating or sex. We collect our information and tips from the streets. We take it from the average dude.

Today we received some of the most epic advice we have heard in months from a real dude. It sparked from a conversation I had with a young man interviewing me for a college assignment. I asked him why do men favor casual relationships as opposed to real courting nowadays.  He told me the following:

We(girls/women) told them (boys/men)"we just want to be friends" when things got too serious. 

It is confusing the hell out of them(boys/men) because now we whine about there is no courtship. Is it true?

 A great guy of the name of Joseph Riedel gave me a wonderful answer. It is as followed( please read carefully ladies):

That, and the fact that most guys are just after sex. There are very few men left that are still enamored with the idea of courtship. Couple these points with the fact that most(if not all) men cannot read women to save their lives, many men just don't bother to make the effort to figure out where things are going.

My response:  So pretty much being lazy. Well I don't know what other women think,but sex without getting to know a dude is boring. And it will make the sex horrible. I get bored easily though.

Riedel: You hit it pretty much on the head with the laziness observation.

Another problem is that many women have figured out that most guys are just after sex, and have inoculated themselves to a certain degree. The problem with this is that when they actually do come across a guy who isn't just about sex(the "...nice guy") they assume that he is just after sex and ignore him, or they banish him to the dreaded "friend zone".

My advice for women looking for a decent guy who will go the distance: Look in the friend zone. That's where the good ones always are. This is why they stick around, even without sex - they're quality guys.

I spent years in the friend zone of different girls who years later - when they found out I had feelings for them - asked me why I didn't make a move. My answer was that perhaps if they hadn't banished me to the friend zone and turned me into an asexual aberration in their minds, they might have seen the signs.

Men and women tend to have self-defeating tendencies when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex and finding a partner.

Men want to settle down with a woman who is nice and not a slut, but then they proceed to only pursue women who are slutty.

Women lament that they want a quality guy who isn't just chasing tail, then they proceed to banish any guy who isn't chasing tail to the friend zone. The mentality is, "If he's not trying to get into my pants, something must be wrong."

These are issues we have to address in the education of our young people, as well as our peers, and within ourselves.

I think this is fabulous advice. I hope readers take it for what it is worth. Thoughts?


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