Steps to Healthy dating: Stop filling voids & act on Self-respect.

By Briana Booker

Often during the day, I start thinking about life experiences or random thoughts in my head. I often put these remarks on social networks. Today, I put up a topic about not rushing into things when dating. It is the best advice you will ever hear from me that deals with dating. It is true. How are you going to do anything intimate and not feel vulnerable, with someone you barely know? You would be lying to say you could...every experience changes us in life no matter how large or small.

Words of Wisdom from a beloved friend.
Today, my fabulous friend Addison Tower gave me the best advice on waiting to have sex with someone and maintaining self-respect for yourself! When you settle for less in self-respect it is because you are trying to fill a void! Trust me, lowering your standards will not make you feel any better at the end of the day or 15 years from now. You have to fill that void by finding security in yourself.

Please read the following from my friend Addie. Let us know your thoughts:

"No strings attached sex is bullshit. Someone always gets attached, whether it is the guy or the girl. So if my thing is, if you are going to have sex,whether you are a guy or a girl, you better: 

1. Make sure you have documented proof that the person you are going to sleep with is 100% clean and that you are too. No more nasty dangerous stuff needs to be spread around in this world & don't be a p*ssy, man up and get tested. If you have any doubts and you are too scared to get tested, then you should not be messing around with anyone anyways.
2. Be honest with yourself, whether you are a guy or a girl. could you truly be ok emotionally and physically, after you sleep with the person? If you have any doubts that this would shake your character or that it would put your morals/values into question, then don't do it.

3. Tell the person you are with what you need/want from them, within reason. If they can not give it to you, then do not even waste your time. Life is too short, and they are probably too shady at that point.

 Oh and P.S.-whether you are sexually promiscuous or not,

I've never a met a sexually promiscuous person that is actually OK with themselves, whether they are a guy or a girl. They are clearly behaving that way because they need to fill a void, they have a problem with intimacy, and/or they need a lot of attention.  

I know everyone gets horny and sexually frustrated from time to time, so learn to handle it yourself. There's nothing wrong with that-it's disease free and it can't get you/anyone else pregnant. 

Bottom line: Don't be a man whore or a woman whore. No one likes a whore. It's a sign of weakness. To the men out there, it really is a sign of weakness, not power. Having the self respect and self restraint makes you much more appealing to a woman. Actually, that applies to women too.


Those are my beliefs/morals/values...it has always kept me safe/clean and respected. You have the power to teach people how they will treat you. I am all about self respect. If you don't have it, then how can you expect anyone to respect you? You can't. The world doesn't work like that. Every man/woman for himself. Self advocate and be your own best friend. I wouldn't have it any other way. " ~Addison Tower